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Pink was my choice of color, not blue. Estrogen, not testosterone, should be what lighted my fire. Life was certainly a struggle, I thought. On a daily basis, I fought a mental battle over my sexual identity with no clear winner.Fortunately, cross-dressing and surfing transgendered sites on the Internet gave some relief. Obviously, I was not alone. As a matter of fact, it was through the Internet that I had come to be such a skilled and accomplished cross dresser. I had found a transformation salon in the city that catered exclusively to people like me. The only problem was that it was expensive and my forays there were limited. College kids with part-time jobs don't have a lot of discretionary money. The lady who ran it, a real one I might add, however, took pity on me and threw in a lot of freebies. After a few visits, I had the basics down pat. I was careful not to expand my repertoire beyond her counseling and my closet dressing at home. The stigma of expose' was too. I want you to know that nothing you have done is a problem for me, we can work through it. Inside the pretty paper and bows you will find my gift for you. The hamper will be for your use of the most personal items. Love always, Mom”I carefully opened the package, hands trembling just like when I handed her the panty at the store. And as I opened the top of the box I was so excited to find the panty I had sought as my special prize for turning 13. It was the lavender panty and along with it were 6 other panties, all different colors and all in my size. There was another small note in the box that instructed me on the fact that “fine lingerie needs to be laundered after each use, please use your new hamper and I will take care of the laundry, Mom.”The woman I had disturbed with her shopping had reminded me of that time in my life when panties became more than a casual diversion. I began wearing them daily and never lost interest in the look, fit, and feel of them. I didn’t find a satin.
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